As I sit to write this post, with my brain slightly frazzled from waking up at 5am for the past two days after having strangely erotic dreams, it occurs to me that it will in all likelihood be part one of two posts on the subject. Or I may just find a way of condensing my philosophy into a reasonable length blog post as well as apply it to FLRs.
For anyone wanting the backstory to this post, I suggest you read this post here on Lifestyle Domme v Pro Domme.
I have now decided to move beyond that and focus myself on Female-Led Relationships (FLRs). As I explore more my personal interests and how they mingle with what I do in life, the more I feel drawn to this specific framework of D/s relationship. It fits well with how I enjoy my D/s relationships as a Dominant Courtesan: loving Female Domination.
Generally, I am not one for labels as ultimately I find them constricting, however, I do enjoy and feel comfortable with both the terms ‘Dominant’ and ‘Courtesan’. I feel that they fit me both equally well.
Someone once asked me an interesting question, ‘A Dominant Courtesan? Do you see yourself more as a Dominant or as a Courtesan?’
It certainly was an interesting question but I have to say every time I thought upon it, the less clear my answer was.
‘Courtesan’ seems to be a widely used, and somewhat abused title recently and I would like to reclaim the term and raise the bar. What do I mean by courtesan?
Personally, I mean someone whose companionship is based upon who she is as her best self- and truly and authentically is- rather than a presentation of either a vanilla or FemDom fantasy masquerading as ‘herself’. A courtesan is someone whose skills lie in creating deep and meaningful bonds with the suitors she chooses to see. She is someone who treats herself with the same love and compassion as she bestows upon those in her favour and her inner beauty is no less valuable to her than her outer beauty. In short, she is someone who can get to the core of a person and bring out that essence, that joy either lost or hidden inside a person and expand upon it, intensify it and create a space for it to flourish. It is all enhanced and held by the affectionate bond they share. Above all, she understands the value of what she has to offer and not only enjoys it but cherishes it too.
I say with no ego: that is who I am. That is what I do. And I’m good at it. Truly, I think I have found my calling.
So, how does that work in terms of a D/s relationship, and in particular, FLRs?
Fundamentally, I cannot do what I do in any other way because I enjoy being the one in charge and in control. Anything less doesn’t do it for me and I will only spend my precious time on earth doing the things I enjoy with the people I enjoy doing it with. Anything less is to cheat myself out of my own life.
When I was introduced to FLRs as a formalised concept of conducting a relationship, my first thought was:
“But aren’t all relationships like that?”
But of course, all relationships are different and in the same way, each FLR is different. However, the common thread of each of my relationships is me and whilst I think it worth explaining what I am looking for from a FLR, I do think that is another post.
That said, it goes without saying that I am charge of the entire connection, not just what happens behind closed doors. It isn’t for the faint-hearted but daring actions can unearth startlingly wonderful treasures you didn’t know you could experience. I rarely use quotes but I love this Tanzanian proverb:
“I pointed out to you the stars, and all you saw was the tip of my finger”
Given the fact I prefer to devote my Dominant time and energy to an exclusive circle of gentlemen, I would say that although I consider myself a Dominant Courtesan, maybe more accurately, I think of myself as a highly tributed lifestyle Mistress. As such I do not have paying clients but I have lifestyle sponsors. Once you look past the tip of my finger, maybe you’ll see the stars.
So, yes, I am selective about the company I keep. I cannot imagine engaging on the level I do with my gents without the D/s bond. I am not an escort with a whip and I have no desire to be treated as one. Hence the introductory meeting before we play.
So, why choose to be a Dominant Courtesan specialising in FLRs when I could be a traditional Dominatrix? Yes, I could easily be a traditional Dominatrix, it was fun and I really enjoyed it but having the choice to go back and stifle myself behind professional boundaries or choosing to move forward in a way where I can express and enjoy myself on a multitude of levels as a Dominant Courtesan in a FLR, I choose the latter. I choose to be both: Dominant and Courtesan.